


Three Little Babies

by schillingklaus



Category: Big Time Rush, Drake & Josh, Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide, Unfabulous, Victorious, Zoey 101, iCarly
Genre: Crossover Pairings, F, High School, Multiple Crossovers, Multiple Pairings, POV Third Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-15
Updated: 2014-02-15
Packaged: 2018-01-12 13:36:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1187217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/schillingklaus/pseuds/schillingklaus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Quinn's experiments turn herself, and her room pals Zoey and Lola, into babies. Chase, Logan, and Michael have a hard time caring for them, and they need to find someone able to restore them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Three Little Babies

# Three Little Babies

### Klaus Schilling  
  
---  
  
>   
> **Abstract:**
> 
> Disclaimer: I don’t own _Zoey 101_ or any other of the used shows or other works of art.
> 
> Rating: _PG-13_
> 
> An accident during one of Quinn’s biogenetic experiments turns herself, along with Zoey and Lola, into babies.
> 
> Unable to deal with the suprise and forced to hide the babies from everyone, Logan, Chase, and Michael hope to find geek girl Paige Howard, and get her to restore the babies. .
> 
> But may Paige be found, and is she really able to help? 

# Contents

  * Chapter 1  The Incident
    * 1:1  A rainy afternoon
    * 1:2  Baby Puke
    * 1:3  Schedules
  * Chapter 2  Looking For Clues
    * 2:1  Night Of Terror
    * 2:2  Telling Dustin
    * 2:3  Olivary Biallo Is Back
    * 2:4  Lola’s Muscles
  * Chapter 3  Paige Howard
    * 3:1  Megan Fesses Up
    * 3:2  Football Fever
    * 3:3  Shootings
    * 3:4  Waiting for the saviour
  * Chapter 4  Disappointment
    * 4:1  Arrival At PCA
    * 4:2  Wendy’s Dorm
    * 4:3  Rumours ON PCA Channel
    * 4:4  Testing Lola
    * 4:5  No Such Thing As Paige
  * Chapter 5  When The Pucketts Come
    * 5:1  Restful sleep
    * 5:2  Melanie
    * 5:3  Off To Rocque Records
    * 5:4  New Babysitters
    * 5:5  Dr. Hollywood
    * 5:6  Lola Versus Shelby
  * Chapter 6  Calculation
    * 6:1  The Saviour Comes
    * 6:2  Little Porcupine
    * 6:3  Dustin In Doubt
    * 6:4  The formula
    * 6:5  Transformations
    * 6:6  Breakfast
  * Chapter 7  Finale
    * 7:1  Sister War
    * 7:2  Zoey Tames A Former Bully
    * 7:3  Eye lasering
    * 7:4  Rock Stars
    * 7:5  Lola Martinez Superstar
    * 7:6  Dustin dates Megan
    * 7:7  Improvements
    * 7:8  Conclusion



# Synopsis

## Genres

Science Fiction, Fluff, Family, Friends, Adventure, Mystery 

## Fandoms

### Primary

_Zoey 101_

### Supporting

 _The iCarly Show_ , _Drake & Josh_, 

### Marginal

 _Victorious_ , _Big Time Rush_ , _Unfabulous_ , _Ned_ _’_ _s Declassified School Survival Guide_ , _True Jackson VP_ , other Nickelodeon live action shows and movies 

## Prerequisites

At least _Wikipedia_ Knowledge of the primary and supporting fandoms is needed. 

## Warning

> The story is exclusively based on my interpretation of the used characters and my conspiracy theories concerning of what is said between the lines.
> 
> This is not necesssarily in agreement — probably even in stark contrast — with the intentions of the producers and authors of the originals it is based on.
> 
> Readers sticking like glue to a literalist and realistic comprehension of canon material will not be able to make any sense of this author’s stories. 

## Timeline

The story starts past canon _Drake & Josh_, _Zoey 101_ , _Unfabulous_ , and _Ned_ _’_ _s Declassified School Survival Guide_ , during second season of _The iCarly Show_ , and first season of _True Jackson VP_. It predates the canon of _Big Time Rush_ and _Victorious_. 

## Acknowledgments

The story has been suggested by Boris Yel’tsin. 

It’s also written for _Livejournal_ challenge _Crossovers_50_ , prompt: _Afternoon_

**Quinn Pensky** , **Zoey Brooks** , **Chase Matthews** , **Michael Barret** , and **Logan Reese** are main characters of _Zoey 101_. 

**Lola Marinez** is a main character of _Zoey 101_ since season 2. 

**Paige Howard** is from _Zoey 101_ : _Paige At PCA_

#  Chapter 1  The Incident

##  1:1  A rainy afternoon

It was a rainy day at **Pacific Coast Academy** , California’s most renowned elitarian boarding school. 

There was not much rain in this dreamy spot down by the beach just outside the gates of Los Angeles. 

But those few days were really depressive for many a sun-spoiled student. 

This was particularly valid for the girls from 101 Brenner Hall. 

**Quinn Pensky** , a nerdy senior, was fumbling with some test tubes. 

Her room-mate **Lola Martinez** , an aspiring Hollywood star, was reading the script for her next rôle to try out for. 

Blond Mary-Sue Zoey Brooks was drawing a sketch of a gown. She was designing prom outfits for her friends. 

Three guys from 148 Maxwell Hall, viz. **Chase Bartholomew Matthews** , **Michael Barret** , and **Logan Reese** , were visiting them. 

Chase was a dork with bushy hair. Now he was writing some lyrics for a new song. He had been Zoey’s boyfriend until finding out from third party about having been cheated on by Zoey and some tall rake named **James Garrett**.1:1 But he was still a good friend.

Michael tried to concentrate on writing a tune to Chase’s lyrics. 

Vain playboy Logan Reese, son of Hollywood csartermMalcolm Reese,1:2 was watchig his face in a mirror, claiming himself to be the hottest. He had been Quinn’s boyfriend for several months. 

But then she found out about just having been subject of a bet between Logan Reese and **Lance Rivers** ,1:3 the son of **Dean Carl Rivers**.1:4

Zoey wondered, “what are you brewing? Another bacteria able to get us locked into our dorm for hours, days, weeks, months?”1:5

Quinn shook her head. “It is for making animals younger.” 

Chase wondered, “why would anyone want to turn animals younger?” 

Quinn explained, “for example, my alpaca, **Otis** ,1:6 is too old for having healthy offspring. But alpacas are now high on demand. So I may make Otis younger, and so on. I’ve already tried this with smaller animals, such as spiders ... somehow, it seems to work much faster on female animals. I have recently rejuvenated a ferret ... ” 

Lola started screaming. 

A porcupine slouched across the dorm. 

Quinn was upset. “Lola! Shut up! You are scaring Mr. Tibbles.”1:7

Zoey was accustomed to many illegal pets kept by her roomie. 

But Chase was afraid of quills. He twitched, casually hitting one of the chairs. 

At the same time, Mr. Tibbles caused a little puddle on the floor. 

Quinn was grabbing the porcupine. “It’s a christmas gift for my second cousin **Nevel Papperman**. Do you want to see a tomograph of his brain? It is very impressive. You may sniffle at it and smell his intelligence.” 

Michael choked for disgust. 

Logan called Quinn a spaz. 

Quinn glared back at the playboy, grumbling angrily. 

Without being noticed, one of Quinn’s test tubes tilted upon the aforementioned impact. 

Quinn had finally put the porcupine back into its cage. “The liquid in my test tubes is harmless. Only the combination with porcupine urine results in a gas with aforementioned effect.” 

A drop from the test tube dripped onto the floor, mixing with the puddle. Suddenly, a billowing cloud shot forth from the wet spot on the bottom. The whole room was filled with an oozing haze. 

Lola screamed again. 

The boys were consternated, too. 

Where did the haze come from? Everyone coughed and grunted. Only a few minutes later, the fog was gone again. Everything was normal — Really everything? 

Michael remarked, "where are the girls?” 

Coughing Chase noticed three babies in their place. 

Logan protested, “what are those stinking lumps doing here?” 

Chase noticed a sixth toe on the right foot of one of the babies. 

Quinn Pensky was known for having an additional toe.1:8

Chase concluded, “the mist must have turned the girls into babies.” 

Consternated Michael nodded timidly. 

Chase also recognised Lola’s smile and Zoey’s charm. 

_But what to do?_ None of the three boys knew anything about baby care. And, of course, the babies had to be hidden from the school’s staff and from a myriad of curious pupils, especially **Jeremiah Trottman** ,1:9 the reporter of the school news. 

Michael complained, “it’s all Logan’s fault. He had to enroll us for metal work classes instead of Mr. Bender’s classes in _Parenting and Family Management_.” 

Chase nodded sadly. 

Logan replied, “baby care is for girls. We are men. Real men. And real men don’t learn to change diapers and feed crying little pests. There are tasks for boys, and there are tasks for girls. Boys shouldn’t disdignify themselves by doing girls’ tasks.” 

Michael shrugged. “Probably?” 

Chase coughed. He was annoyed by Logan’s jerkish sexism. 

But now they needed to find a way to feed the baby girls and get their diapers changed. 

Logan remembered, “Quinn used to stock baby food. Somewhere, not sure.” 

Michael and Chase remembered. “Great idea!” They started overturning the dormitory room.

Logan grinned pathetically. “A few boys are good-looking **and** brilliant.” 

Finally, Michael found a talon of canned baby meals. 

Chase grabbed Lola’s bed blanket and used it in order to warp it around the loot. 

The bell started ringing: This was the signal for boys having to leave the girls’ dormitory rooms. Now they had to make it out of there as fast as possible. In a few minutes, **Coco Wexler** ,1:10 the annoying overseer of the girls’ dormitory blocks, was going to pass by 101 Brenner on her habitual course. 

Logan had to carry the foods. 

Chase had to carry the babies. 

Michael was sent forth as a pioneer, looking for a safe way. 

They needed to avoid Coco’s route and the main entrance down by the overcrowded foyer of Brenner Hall. 

Half a minute later, Michael returned and winked his pals to follow him to the back entrance. 

##  1:2  Baby Puke

Lola,Quinn, and Zoey clang tightly to Chase. 

The latter suggested to pass by Lisa’s dormitory room, just down the floor corridor. 

Lisa had been Michael’s girlfriend for over a year. And she had been in parenting classes. 

It had started with Michael having saved Lisa from Chase’s race cart gone wild.1:11 But things had gone awry. Their relationship was chock full of misunderstandings. 

For example, Lisa Perkins refused to believe in **Mr. Takato** ,1:12 an elderly Japanese guy and Michael’s teacher for driving a stick-switched car. 

But the final blow to the relationship had been dealt by fellow student **Melanie Puckett** [,1:13 twin sister of annoying ex-student **Trisha Kirby**.1:14 The latter had told Michael: 

>   
>  My sister Sam, or, if you like, Trisha, had once got a so-called boyfriend named **Eric Moseby**.1:15 But she never loved him. She only loved his deed of gifting her regularly the most delicious sorts of ham from all over the world. Sam may be a dumbass, but she was smart enough to understand this absurdity.
> 
> And it’s no different between you and Lisa. She doesn’t like you, she only loves your deed of saving her life. 

Michael remembered all that. He sighed deeply. “Let’s skip this.” 

Chase coughed. He had to change directions, an awkward enterprise with three annoying bundles in his arms. 

Suddenly, fellow senior **Stacey Dillsen** stood in Chase’s way. She carried a new model of the Pacific Coast Academy in her arms, made of cotton swabs and white glue. “Aw, babies!” She beamed. “Are they yours?” She fumbled playfully with her fingers in front of the babies. 

Michael, Chase, and Logan fainted. 

Stacey smiled, offering, “may I breastfeed them?” 

Logan nodded. “Sure, if you take them to your dorm and keep them there over night, for the next few weeks.” He was glad for getting rid of the babies that soon. 

Chase and Michael nodded solemnly. 

Stacey beamed. “Aw, my cotton swabs, we have found three new little friends.” 

Logan placed the bundle of canned baby meals in front of Stacey. “Food for at least one week.” 

Michael decided to get Lola fed first. He took her from Chase’s grip and handed her to Stacey. 

Baby Lola noticed Stacey’s intention when looking at her frontal buffer zones. She felt suddenly sick and floundered violently. A torrent of some warm, smelly liquid gushed forth from her tiny mouth, covering consternated Michael’s face with a stink. 

Logan snickered. 

Chase took baby Lola back. 

Stacey started weeping. She picked up her cotton swab sculpture and ran away. 

Michael admitted, “honestly, I wouldn’t want to suckle at Stacey’s things, either. So I understand Lola.” 

Logan agreed wholeheartedly. 

But now they were left alone again with three “little problems.” 

Michael better went to the toilets first. 

Logan moaned. He wanted to move out as soon as possible. 

But Chase preferred to wait for Michael. 

A bunch of screams were heard. 

Michael came flying, hunted by some infuriated girls 

The female voices requested the death of Michael. 

Logan thundered, “you idiot! These were the girls’ toilets.” 

Truth said, there were hardly any boys’ toilets in the corridors of the girls’ dormitory blocks. 

Michael looked a bit beaten up. He coughed and moaned, still covered with Lola’s output. 

Finally, they achieved sneaking out. 

##  1:3  Schedules

The three pals, still out of breath, had finally arrived in their dormitory room. Under the cover of the darkness it had been possible for them to slip through the lines and cross the campus without getting noticed by anyone of note. 

Logan had snuck in through the main entrance, and he had opened the window for Chase and Michael, along with the babies and the food. 

Now they wondered about the next steps. For the babies, they needed milk, more food, and diapers. But where were they to be found? This school was not exactly baby-friendly. 

Chase moaned, “tomorrow’s Zoey’s weekly Dustin day.” **Dustin Brooks**1:16 was Zoey’s younger brother. 

Logan wondered, “what’s a Dustin day?” 

Chase sighed. “Zoey and Dustin are doing something together.” He didn’t know the details.

Michael moaned, “poor Dustin ... how will he take it?” 

Logan guessed, “poor us! He will go and kill us, or tell his parents and Dean Rivers.” 

Chase was all stiff for consternation. 

Alas, Logan concluded, “we need to know the girls’ schedules in order to plan more carefully.” 

Michael nodded. “Quinn’s blog contains her schedule. Or so I hope.” 

Chase gasped. “Wait, doesn’t Lola make that movie with your dad, Logan?” 

The playboy gasped. “Oh yeah, dern! Two days left unto the shootinngs ...” Logan fainted. 

The boys were all terrified. 

Quinn’s blog probably also contained the results of her research, allowing for the production of a counter medic. But who was able to read Quinn’s nerd talk and develop the salvific formula? Chase, Logan, and Michael were certainly not exactly up to that. 

#  Chapter 2  Looking For Clues

##  2:1  Night Of Terror

The night had not been exactly pleasant for the boys from 148 Maxwell Hall: The three babies had kept on crying all night long. Sometimes the neighbours had knocked against the wall. 

Michael was known as a flautist,2:1 and thus potentially able to play a lullaby for the three baby girls. But he was way too embarrassed for playing it, and thus he tried to run away or hide under the bed. 

Chase and Logan had to tie him to a chair. 

Michael had often boasted with his ability of freeing himself from many a knot.2:2 But he had vastly exaggerated. Too bad he couldn’t play the flute with both hands tied to the back. 

Logan had been enervated. He would even have paid Stacey a few tenners for stuffing a bunch of cotton swabs into his ears. 

**Gavin Mitchell** ,2:3 the dormitory adviser of the boys’ blocks, was heard out on the corridor. 

Chase grabbed the babies in their rags and stuffed then underneath the single bed. 

Michael started playing his clacker balls, covering the noise. 

Gavin was knocking at the door. 

Michael opened. 

Gavin walked in and grinned. “Cool, clackers, I like those things!” 

Michael grinned. 

The boys from 146 Maxwell Hall, viz. **Vincent Blake** ,2:4 **Mark del Figgalo** ,2:5 and **James Garrett** , stood behind the dormitory adviser. 

Mark looked awfully tired. But he was usually the most phlegmatic student at Pacific Coast Academy. 

Vince asked, “we’ve heard babies cry all night long.” 

James nodded. 

Logan stammered, “aw that ... was no baby, it was ...” 

Chase continued, “it was a movie with babies. We’ve been watching a movie, all night long!” 

Michael nodded. “Yeah, man, it was _Three idiots and three little babies_.” 

Logan confirmed that. “My dad has produced it, last week.” 

Gavin had until recently worked for a cinema named **Première Theater** ,2:6 located in San Diego, but he could not remember such a movie. 

Logan explained, “it is not yet released. My dad let me see it, as a test, kind of, sort of.” 

Chase and Michael nodded solemnly. 

Gavin smiled while playing with Michael’s clackers. “Ah, yeah. OK boys, there was nothing, now go for breakfast.” 

Quarterback Vince nodded solemnly. “Maybe I can even ask Lola to come with me to tonight’s football match. She would be our mascot.” He was officially dating Lola Martinez. 

Michael gasped. “She looked a bit sick last night.” 

Chase nodded. “Not a good idea for her to go out tonight.” 

Vince sighed. “Well, we’ll see.” He walked away with his balls and the adviser. 

Michael grabbed his clackers, claiming them back from Gavin. 

The door was now closed again. 

Michael, Logan, and Chase sighed for relief. 

Suddenly, Logan had got a brilliant idea. He picked his cellular phone.

Chase and Michael looked a bit puzzled. 

Logan typed some digits.

A voice replied, “Camille Roberts?2:7 Hello?”

Logan beamed. “Hi Camille, this is Logan Reeese, the vice president of Reese Productions.” Actually, Logan held no such title. But he liked to bost with responsibilities, especially in order to impress girls. 

**Camille Roberts** was a younger yet alike-looking cousin of Quinn Pensky. “Oh, hi Logan, what the ... it’s seven o’ clock a.m.” Like Lola, Camille was a wannabe Hollywood star. She lived and studied at nearby **Palmwood’s** ,2:8 a hotel for future Hollywood stars. 

Logan explained, “sorry, but I’ve got a job for you. A movie, sort of.” 

Camille was eager on getting professional exoperience in a real movie. “Sure! What have I got to do?” 

Logan continued, “first of all, discretion is of uttermost importance.” 

Camille shrugged. “OK? But what is my rôle?” 

Logan replied, “You have to act like your elder cousin. A nerdy girl, kind of, sort of. 100 bucks per hour.” 

Camille chuckled. “No problem!” 

Chase and Michael gasped in adoration. 

Logan boasted proudly. “Some guys are hot, some are smart, some are both.” 

Chase scratched his bushy hair. “Hey, Lola has got several relatives looking almost like her.” 

Michael nodded. “Her sisters **Shelby Marx**2:9 and **Vivian** ,2:10 and her cousin **Victoria Vega**.”2:11

The three boys hi-fived: Finding a drop-in replacement for Lola was thence probably not going to be too difficult. 

##  2:2  Telling Dustin

Alas, the case was totally different for the Brooks clan. 

There was no way to hire anyone as a substitute sister for Dustin. 

Classes of the day were over. Shelby had been hired successfully as the mascot for the football team. Tori Vega was going to replace Lola during the first shootings of the movie. But what to do with Zoey? 

Michael, Chase, and Logan were sitting in their room. They had stuffed lots of baby mealas down the throats of the mini versions of Lola, Zoey, and Quinn. 

Suddenly, there were voices at the door. They sounded like Dustin’s. 

Michael made the girls disappear underneath the single bed. 

Logan opened the door. “Hi, Dustin! Chase has to talk to you!” 

Dustin coughed. “Hi Logan! What the ...” 

Logan grabbed Michael’s waists. “We have to go to **Coach Keller**!”2:12

Michael coughed. “What? Oh, yeah!” He followed Logan out. 

Chase was now left all alone with the burden of telling Dustin. 

Zoey’s younger brother asked, “I haven’t seen Zoey today. I’ve been at their dorm. But nobody seems to be there. It’s all quiet. And we are appointed. Zoey is never too late!” 

Chase went all pale. “Things are like this ...” He kept on stammering. 

Dustin asked, “they are like what?” 

Chase’s teeth rattled like the hindside of a viper. 

Dustin did not loosen his vigour. “Where is Zoey?” 

Suddenly, one of the babies crawled forth from the hideout. It was precisely Zoey. She waved at Dustin with her little hands. 

Dustin gasped. “A bay? And she looks like Zoey on her first photographs.” 

Chase’s voice was suddenly all blocked out. The blood froze in his veins. 

Dustin concluded, “it must be Zoey’s baby! Chase, when did you do that?” 

Chase just uttered incomprehensible stuff. He felt slowly passing out. 

Dustin concluded: 

> Chase has only come back from London like five months ago. He can’t be the father. 
> 
> Hence the baby must be from James. 

Dustin did not show his brilliant conclusions to Chase. He deemed Zoey too weak from the birth. He sighed. “It’s OK with me. Zoey has now obviously found someone else to take care off.” He pointed at the baby. 

Chase sighed and nodded. 

But was Dustin going to tell his parents? 

An incredible stench, bursting forth from Zoey’s rear end. filled the room. 

Chase and Dustin gagged. 

Dustin promised, “your secret will be safe with me!” 

Chase nodded solemnly. 

Dustin smiled and walked away. “I’m going to buy diapers and milk for my niece. See you!” Working as a footman for Logan, Dustin had been able to save some money. He had also been recompensated by the playboy for having been abused as Quinn’s fake date for last year’s junior prom.2:13

Chase was still too much shocked for giving an answer. 

Dustin was gone. 

Thus Michael and Logan walked back into their dorm. They chuckled like fools. 

Chase was still all stiff and silent. 

Now it was time to think of someone able to find the countervenom. And it had to happen before the boys were going to revert to babies as well. Remember, they had inhaled the same haze as the girls! It just happened to work slower for male animals than for female beasts— or so had been Quinn’s last words. 

Michael suggested, “who was the geek girl from two years ago?” 

Chase coughed. “The one with the huge plasma reactor?” 

Michael nodded. 

Logan answered, “Paige! Her name was Paige Howard!” 

Chase smiled. “We need to get her to release us from our misery, as soon as possible!” 

Michael and Logan agreed wholeheartedly. 

Now it was necessary to find a way to contact the geek queen. The blog of Quinn Pensky should still show hints pointing towards Paige. The boys went through the above site. 

Logan grinned. “Here we are! Paige Howard!” 

Chase beamed and clicked through. 

They were now at the site of aforementioned Paige from Colorado. 

Chase wrote an emergency message, describing the situation. 

All they could do now was hoping for a fast and positive reply from Paige. 

Chase and Logan were now off for dinner. They had to fetch something edible for Michael, too. 

The latter was occupied with the babies. He better stayed here and played with his clackers, trumping the sound of the babies’ cries. He was also watching out for Dustin’s return from shopping.

But this was not going to happen ere the set of sun. Dustin wanted to sneak in his purchases under cover of the darkness. 

##  2:3  Olivary Biallo Is Back

Night had fallen.

Chase and Logan had decided to go to a movie, leaving Michael alone in the poop.

There were voices outside. 

Michael thought of Dustin. He opened the door carefully. 

Alas, there was no Dustin. Instead, Michael’s annoying old acquaintance **Olivary Biallo**2:14 stood outside, grinning. “Aw Michael!” 

The Jazz flautist gasped. “Olivary!” He had not seen that exotioc exchange student in several years. 

Olivary grinned. “I’ve heard a scream similar to that of my baby niece. I’m now here in order to help you with the baby. I’ve been the only male student in Mr. Bender’s child care classes of last year.” 

Michael shook his head. “There is no baby in here.” 

Olivary chuckled mercilessly. “Michael, you are kidding me! It smells like babies, it sounds like baby cries, it ...” 

Little Lola showed up from underneath the beds. 

Quinn and Zoey followed straight. 

Michael could no longer deny the facts. He panted like an elephant after having climbed the Mount Everest. 

Olivary concluded, “so you’re a dad now? Wow! Who’s the mom?” 

Michael shook his head. “Those are not my babies.” 

Olivary laughed. “Michael! You’re kidding me again!” 

Michael stammered. 

Alas, Olivary was not done. “Your triplet babies wear terrible clothes.” 

Indeed, Chase. Michael, and Logan had torn rags off their own clothings in order to dress the girls. 

Olivary decided to taylor new outfits for the babies. “I’ve been the only guy in textile creation classes, too. With a straight A.” 

Michael was no longer really surprised by the latter fact. 

Finally, Dustin arrived with a bag of diapers. 

Michael introduced him to Olivary Biallo. “Oli is going to care of the baby.” 

The exotic fellow nodded solemnly. 

##  2:4  Lola’s Muscles

The football team of Pacific Coast Academy was in its cabins. They were down by ten points in the middle of the match. 

Vince was disappointed by Lola’s absence. “We stand no chance without our mascot.” 

His henchmen Weisman2:15 and Comisar2:16 agreed. 

The door went open. 

Shelby Marx, the little sister of Lola, walked in. She looked almost totally like Lola. “Hi guys! I’m here. Sorry, I’ve been a bit ill-disposed.” 

The guys sighed for relief. 

Vince kissed his supposed fiancé briefly. 

Suddenly, Coach Keller yelled through the megaphone, “Our left winger Blatzberg2:17 has broken his ribs.” 

The guys looked for a substitute. But there was none. 

Before the match, Kenny Keller2:18 had bruised his ankles. 

Vince panted for despair. “Now we have to play with one man less. It’s over.” 

Shelby chuckled. “You’ve still got me!” 

The guys laughed. A mascot was not enough to secure a victory against the team of Lincoln.2:19

Shelby chuckled, playing with her steel-like muscles. “I can do more than that.” She looked at some spare footballer’s equipment and picked one closest to her size. 

Vince gasped. “Lola? You won’t really try to ... You have never worked out!” 

The other boys were equally shocked. 

Shelby was now rigged and ready for the match. She sang _Toréador en garde!_ from Bizet’s opera _Carmen_. 

The boys feared the worst. 

#  Chapter 3  Paige Howard

##  3:1  Megan Fesses Up

 **Megan Parker** ,3:1 an eighthgrader from uptown San Diego, looked at her evening mail. 

There was one message from **Jessica Warner** ,3:2 a jornalist from Colorado, working as a live reporter for _Backstage Hollywood_ , among other things. She had advised a summer camp visited by Megan Parker just a few years ago and thence promised to publish a book about Megan’s adventures with her _boobs_. 

**Boobs** was an expressiuon invented by Megan Parker denoting her elder brother **Drake Parker** ,3:3 the greatest teenage rockstar and hottest kisser ever hatched under the scorching Californian sun, and their step-brother **Joshuah Nichols** ,3:4 a freaky dork formerly interested in science, but now somewhat deviated abd turned stupid. 

Megan loved making a lot of fun of those two exorbitant idiots. But now she took a closer look at that message. She was consternated and almost sank to the floor. She read the message several times. 

But the content of the news remained the same. 

Megan sobbed deeply. She needed to talk to someone. But to whom? 

Unfortunately, there was no other person around but aforementioned bandleader Drake Parker, the uncontested master of jerks of San Diego. 

Megan sobbed. “Drake, er, boob, have you got a minute?” 

Drake burped. “Erm ...” 

Megan panted. “Two years ago, I’ve commited quite some stupidity.” 

Drake downed a can of ginger ale in one shot. “You’ve committed much more than one stupidity to me and Josh.” 

Megan moaned, “it has nothing to do with you.” 

Drake shrugged. “So, why would I waste my time” He picked his guitar and started performing a new tune. 

Megan begged, “please, Drake!” 

Drake shook his head. “So, what’s going on?” 

Megan admitted, “you remember Mindy Crenshaw?” 

Drake grunted, “the creature?” 

**Mindy Crenshaw** had once been Josh’s fiancé. But now she was in South America for some reason. 

Megan sighed. “Yeah that one. Well, two years ago, she had won the national science fair. Without Josh.” 

Drake moaned, “so what?” 

Megan continued, “she had used a fake name and a fake identity, viz. _Paige Howard from Colorado_. A star reporter with roots over there helped us make that fake identity credible. The finals were in Los Angeles. And Mindy was not up to facing them after having caused those troubles to you at the school council, trying to get you expelled for one of her own evil deed.”3:5

Drake shrugged. “So what?” 

Megan explained, “then she was invited to several schools in Los Angeles, one of them being the Pacific Coast Academy.” 

Drake remembered that school. He had given there one of his first concerts.3:6

This had been four years ago.

Drake gasped. “The Pacific Coast Academy?” 

Megan sighed. “Exactly. Alas, after having been expelled from our school, **Belleview** , Mindy had enrolled at Pacific Coast Academy and run immediately into troubles with some students there. She had plagiarised the backpack design of some blond Mary-Sue named Zoey Brooks and sold them.”3:7

Drake’s eyes bugged out. He whimpered in ecstasy. “Zoey?” 

Megan nodded. “Well, Mindy could not show up at Pacific Coast Academy again without betraying her deceit. Thus I feigned to be Paige Howard. I went to Pacific Coast Academy, with a chip in my ear. You know, one allowing Mindy to tell me what to do, without anyone noticing.” 

Drake knew that trick. Upon Megan’s advice, he had once tried to use it in order to impress a nerd girl in an academic contest.3:8

Josh had told him the right answers for the quiz. 

Drake yawned. “Boring!” 

Megan grabbed his sleeves and pulled at him. “Anyways, their resident geek girl, a certain Quinn Pensky, she had been very strange back then, causing explosions over and over again, has now performed some stupid experiment. She has turned herself and two of her friends into babies, one of them being Zoey Brooks.” 

Drake had got a hard time believing the story. “Zoey? What?” 

Megan sighed. “OK, and now they ask me to fix Quinn’s experiments. They think me to be Paige. But I am not. And I’m not a genius scientist.” 

Drake ’s eyes bugged out. “Can’t Mindy fix it?” 

Megan moaned, “She could. But didn’t you listen? She hates Zoey Brooks. She would never help her.” 

Drake boomed. “Aw, that dern creature!” 

Megan shrugged. “I don’t know how to help. But I feel the need to talk to them and fess up.” She started weeping. “And someone needs to drive me there.” She also needed some moral support for fessing up. 

Drake took his little sister into his arms. “OK. I’ll be that someone.” He thought aboout all the hot beetles on the campus of Pacific Coast Academy. 

Megan was also looking forward to seeing some of her friends studying at Pacific Coast Academy.

One of them was arrogant Hollywood tweenie star **Ashley Blake** ,3:9 little sister of aforementioned quarterback Vince Blake. 

Then there was **Addie Singer** ,3:10 a girl from the east coast. She had got relatives living in San Diego. Thus she had come to know Megan while visiting those. 

Finally, Megan’s nursery school friend **Wendy Gellar**3:11 was also studying at Pacific Coast Academy. 

Wendy had once got an undying crush on Drake. She had been stalking him everywhere. But she had calmed down by now. Really, she was just training hard in order to become a music producer and thence have to do with Drake in a professional manner. 

##  3:2  Football Fever

After another night stripped of sleep, Chase, Michael, and Logan yawned their throat sore. They started listening to _PCA News_. 

“PCA Sports News,” yelled reporter Jeremiah Trottman. “Last night, our football team has performed a miraculous comeback. We were down by a dozen of points until a few minutes before the bitter end. And then a hitherto unbeknownst player took over for injured Duke Blatzberg. He kicked four field goals straight and punched four opponents out of the stadium.” 

The boys of 148 Maxwell Hall gasped. 

Trottman continued, “according to our official reports, that player had been registered as Lola Martinez. But that’s not possible. Lola can’t get a punch straight. And she hates sweating.” 

The boys nodded solemnly. 

Of course Lola had not been the hero. She had been sleeping peacefully at Logan’s foot end. 

So Chase concluded, “Shelby must have won the game for our team!” 

Logan nodded. “Makes sense. She’s a kick boxer. She has recently been qualified for the world championship, lightweight class.” 

Michael nodded. “She’s very good at kicking butts.” 

Alas, such a behaviour was very treacherous. 

A voice was heard from outside. It belonged to Oli Biallo. 

Michael opened after requesting the password. 

Olivary slipped in through the open window. 

Michael sighed for relief. “This is Olivary. You may remember him from the school dance. He has been in Mr. Bender’s baby care classes.” 

Chase and Logan chuckled crazily. 

Olivary started talking a lot. Then he was taking over the crying bundles. 

Alas, nothing could prevent them from crying. 

Michael had to play his clacker balls in order to hide the sound of crying babies. 

The resources donated by Dustin, alas, were only enough for Zoey. Dustin Brooks did not know about the two other babies. Where had he gotten the supplies from, anyways? 

Diapers were not sold in the campus facility shop. Babies were still strictly forbidden at Pacific Coast Academy. 

Michael looked through his messages. “Paige Howard has replied. She will show up on Saturday afternoon.” 

Chase and Logan sighed for relief. Alas, they did not yet know about Paige being a fake. Thus their hopes were apparently soaring too high. They had also tried to contact **Wayne Gilbert** ,3:12 another resident geek at this school. 

But Wayne was in a stinky mood because of having been turned down by Zoey Brooks, over and over again, but especially the week before. 

##  3:3  Shootings

Malcolm Reese and his production team was rigged and ready for starting the first shootings for the show. 

Unfortunately, Lola Martinez, or, better, Tori Vega, was too late. “Sorry, I had to borrow the scooter of my sister Trina.”3:13

Malcolm grunted noisily. He was not going to let anyone get away with being repeatedly late. “Go to the cabins and get yourself prepared!” 

Trina Vega was also known as Rebecca. She had once been hired by Chase in order to make Zoey jealous. This had not yet worked out well. Trina had become very greedy and vengeful. Then she switched to another school, **Hollywood School For The Professional Performance Arts** , a prep school for future Hollywood stars. Alas, she was way less gifted than Lola or Tori, but she was a lot more loud-mouthed. 

Several students from said school had tried out for the movie, including one **Beck Oliver**.3:14 The latter obtained the male main part. 

Alas, his girlfriend, falsely so-called, viz. **Jade West** ,3:15 was one arrogant power goth girl. Thus Beck was still hesitating. He did not want to upset Jade by kissing Lola Martinez on the stage. 

Thus there was still a chance of the male main character getting transferred to either **Jett Stenson**3:16 or to **Spencer Danforth**.3:17

Tori was very excited. Was she really able to act like her elder cousin Lola? 

The female main character was not yet decided on, either. 

Ashley Blake had also applied. 

Tori’s blood froze. 

Ashley’s established fame felt like antarctic ice suffocating poor Tori. But, really, Ashley was not a very good character actor. Her strengths were voiceless acting, stressing her cold aristocratic charm and her graceful movements. 

Tori just needed to stand through all of this until the return of Lola. But when was that going to happen? 

##  3:4  Waiting for the saviour

In the afternoon, the boys from 148 Maxwell Hall had agreed on details for Paige’s visit. 

The main problem: 

The operation had to stay a secret enterprise. 

Today, Michael and Chase went to dinner. 

Logan had to stay behind. 

Suddenly, Dustin showed up in order to ask about Zoey. “Logan, there is still nothing in Zoey’s dorm. I’m worried.” 

Logan shrugged carelessly. 

In this moment, baby Quinn showed up. 

Dustin had no problem identifying the extraneous toe. “Is that your baby and Quinn’s?” His voice was too loud. 

Logan gasped. He wanted to get Dustin to shut up. But the charge was too flabbergasting. Logan could not react. 

But wasn’t that too much of an incident? How could both Quinn and Zoey have given birth to babies without showing pregnancy? 

Logan gave up and told Dustin about the strange accident. 

Dustin was totally confused. He took his little big sister and hugged her tightly. “Aw Zoey!” His voice was now nore careful. 

Logan sighed. “Don’t worry! This weekend, a science fair champion will come and restore the babies.” 

Dustin nodded, hoping so. 

But maybe any of the other pupils of dormitory adviser Gavin Mitchell had heard aforementioned scream. Rumours about Quinn and Logan having a baby were not unlikely to abound.

This would have meant the end of the world. 

#  Chapter 4  Disappointment

##  4:1  Arrival At PCA

Drake Parker halted his craft at the entrance of the campus of Pacific Coast Academy. 

Megan jumped out of the car and fetched her belongings from the cargo space. 

Drake had forgotten his luggage. 

They were going to spend one night on the campus. More precisely, Megan was allowed to stay in a dormitory room with her aforementioned friends Wendy Gellar and Ashley Blake. Addie Singer, on the other hand, was older than Megan’s other friends. Megan wanted to run ahead. She was too embarrassed to be spotted anywhere near the boob. 

Drake was going to stay in 148 Maxwell Hall, i.e. the room with Chase, Michael,and Logan. 

Alas, Megan had been too slow. 

Jeremiah Trottman, the school news reporter, blocked her way. “Ms. Howard, when will you receive the Nobel Prize for physics, chemistry, and biology?” 

Megan gasped. “Not anywhen soon?” 

Trottman and some other stupid onlookers refused to believe this. 

Drake Parker finally reached the masses. 

Jeremiah asked, “aw, there we’ve got Drake Parker, the greatest rock idol ever!” 

Many students started squealing. 

Drake grinned. 

Trottman asked, “Drake, since when are you and Paige Howard dating?” 

Thoroughly disgusted Megan went pale. 

Consternated Drake stammered, “er ... that is ...” 

Megan poked Drake rudely between the ribs. “Don’t even think about it,” thundered she straight into Trottman’s microphone. 

The sensational news about Paige and Drake dating spread like wildfire, regardless of any feeble attempts of denying that absurdity. 

But Megan could not talk about her true identity — at least not to the infuriated vulgar mob. She only wanted to talk about this in a smaller reunion with Zoey’s and Quinn’s closest friends.

Suddenly, a voice thundered across the campus via megaphone. “Attention! Attention! Paige Howard is about working on a potentially dangerous bacteria. Do not touch any of her useless belongings until ... or else ...” 

The stupid masses screamed in agony and started to scatter hysterically across the campus. 

Trottman was one of the first to run and take cover. 

The way was now free for Megan and Drake. 

##  4:2  Wendy’s Dorm

Wendy and Ashley had already been waiting for their friend. 

Megan was only going to see the boys from 148 Maxwell Hall and the baby girls after sunset. As many other aforementioned things, this would have been too dangerous in the plain daylight. 

Wendy and Ashley hugged Megan. 

The latter grinned. “Many think me to be Paige Howard.” 

Wendy nodded. “In _Oprah’s Show_ , there was recently an interview with a woman who had fooled her husbands for years in such a manner.” 

Megan chuckled. “Cool! But tonight I have to come out, alas, only to a few selected people.” 

Ashley and Wendy glared aghast. 

Megan told them the whole story about the babies. “But you don’t have to tell anyone about it.” 

Ashley and Wendy swore to remain silent about it. 

But Ashley did the maths. 

Megan had not mentioned Lola by name due to not knowing her well enough.

But the latter was a roomie of Quinn and Zooey. 

According to Ashley’s brain, Lola must have been among the little babies.

Alas, the whole accident must have occured before her brother’s last date with whom he supposed to be Lola, and before the last shooting session. Ashley had also heard about Lola having got alike looking relatives. But which of them had been fooling the whole school? This question could not yet be answered by Ashley. And the diva did not yet want to let Megan know about her hunch. 

##  4:3  Rumours ON PCA Channel

Jeremiah Trottman stood on the channel square and started talking into his microphone. 

> Ladies and gentlemen! 
> 
> This is Jeremiah Trottman from PCA News channel. 
> 
> You won’t believe the latest news! 
> 
> First, Drake Parker, the famous rock guitarist, has been spotted here on the campus, along with his latest date.
> 
> Maybe that’s not so surprising.
> 
> Drake switches girls faster than his underwear.
> 
> But here it comes:
> 
> His current date is none other than scientific genius Paige Howard! This girl won the national science fairl like two years ago.
> 
> You sure remember her great demonstration on this campus.
> 
> But this is only one great news.
> 
> The most stunning message has arrived half an hour ago.
> 
> Listen carefully:
> 
> Logan Reese and Quinn Pensky, a science geek girl only second to aforementioned Paige Howard, are proud parents of a daughter.
> 
> Yes, I know.
> 
> They are known to have broken up a few weeks ago.
> 
> But maybe the baby will change the situation.
> 
> I wish to be able to interview Quinn Pensky about the situation. Alas, I haven’t seen her in a while. 

The masses of students were exorbitantly excited by the news. Chaos started breaking loose. 

Trottman continued, “has anyone seen Quinn? Oh, my source is Quinn Pensky’s jealous ex-fiancé Mark Del Figgalo.” 

Stacey Dillsen cheered. “I knew it! I mean ... Carly and Freddie would be a cute couple as well, but Quinn and Logan Reese ...” 

**Carly Shay** ,4:1 a girl living in Seattle, was a host of a popular web show, the favourite web content of most students here at Pacific Coast Academy. 

**Fredward Benson** was the show’s tech producer. 

Suddenly, Camille crossed the campus. She looked now totally like Quinn. 

Like a vulture, Jeremiah Trottman pounced upon Quinn — or so he thought. “Aw, Quinn Pensky, how have you been able to hide these news ...” 

Camille slapped Jeremiah viciously across the face. “You dirty rascal! You’ve always abused my confidence, and now you’ve cheated on me with that cheap wench ...” She spit aloft and walked away, stomping her feet violently. She had only been acting. But she had been totally believable in her deeds. 

Jeremiah Trottman went totally pale. Was he going to learn from his mistakes of trusting the evidences prematurely? He certainly needed to do so before becoming a real journalist for a bigger public newspaper or broadcast corp. 

Stacey Dillsen told Lisa Perkins, “this Trottman is the ultimate creep! He has destroyed ’Quogan’.” 

Lisa nodded solemnly. “He has probably promised to marry her in order to get her to leave her unborn baby’s father.” 

Many students ganged up and started rioting against Jeremiah Trottman and PCA News. Part of the broadcast equipment got destroyed in the process. As a consequence, PCA News were not going to be on air for the next few weeks. 

##  4:4  Testing Lola

The sun was already approaching the surface of the endless ocean. 

Ashley Blake walked across the campus, carrying one of Vince’s spare footballs. 

Robert “Scooter” Carmichael4:2 followed her. “I’m still not sure whether ...” He was not only a very tenacious fan of Ashley Blake, but also Megan’s boy next door and room-mate of Dustin Brooks. 

Ashley commanded him, against his remorses, to throw the football at bypassing “Lola Martinez”. 

Robbie obeyed. The ball was flying and hitting the cute Latina’s shoulders. 

Surprised Lola, or, really, Victoria Vega, squealed. “Ouch! Who the heck ...” 

Ashley and Robbie hid in the bushes. 

The little dive grinned. “Thanks! This is impossibly the girl that saved the football team.” Ashley studied the details, enabling her to tell this copy of Lola apart from others. 

“Do I now get to taste your lip gloss?” asked Robbie. 

Ashley nodded. “Sure! Close your eyes and play with your lips!” 

Robbie Carmichael followed Ashley’s instructions, awaiting the tweenie star’s kiss. 

The ice-cold diva took a lipstick from her handbag, opened it, and shoved it between his lips. “Dream on, you dweeb! Have a nice evening!” She chuckled and walked away. 

Robbie Carmichael coughed, choked, spat, and whimpered for dismay and disgust. 

##  4:5  No Such Thing As Paige

Dusk had finally arrived on the campus. 

The dying sun sent its last feeble rays all across Los Angeles, like a large orange squeezing the last drops of juice from itself and spilling them across the brine of the mighty Pacific. 

This was the moment for Megan Parker to make it into the secret meeting point with Chase Matthews, Michael Barret, Logan Reese, and Dustin Brooks. 

The boys were very excited. Their hopes were riding high. 

Megan, however, did not look well forward to having to disappoint them. But it had to be. Megan met the boys, reinforced by Drake Parker, in the back of Maxwell Hall. 

The boys’ hearts beat faster. 

Chase asked, “Paige! Have you found the formula?” 

Dustin nodded. “Are you really dating Drake? I don’t exactly believe it. He’s just your driver, earning some bucks this way, ain’t he?” 

Drake coughed. 

Megan stammered, “kinda. We are related, kind of sort of.” She was embarrassed. 

Dustin sighed. “How exactly?” 

Drake decided to end the hiding game. “Megan ... er ... Paige is my sister.” 

Chase, Michael, and Logan were consternated. 

Megan was totally embarrassed. “He’s a boob, but he’s right.” 

The students of Pacific Coast Academy wondred, “boob?” 

Megan shook her head. “Long story. There is really no Paige Howard, and I’m not a science genius. The real genius is one Mindy Crenshaw. She just taught me to talk like a geek girl.” 

The boys were consternated. All their hopes had been shattering into smithereens right in front of their eyes. 

Megan sighed. “Sorry! I may still play some lullaby for the babies. I am a solo oboe. Do you like _Brahm’s_?” 

The boys did not know that name. Alas, the prospects of restful sleep helped them getting like one third over with their gaping disappointment. 

Drake wondered, “I can play some hardrock lullaby with my guitar.” 

Dustin shook his head. “Wait, you are Megan, the neighbour girl of my roomie Robbie Carmichael?” He gasped. “You really look like Carly from iCarly. She’s your cousin, right?” Dustin had not noticed the similarity earlier on due to the creeping darkness. 

Megan nodded. “Cool show. But Carly is a bit tame. She should be more tricky.” 

Dustin shrugged. 

Chase asked, “so, that Mindy Crenshaw will help us?” 

Megan moaned, “well, she had sent me to Pacific Coast Academy for the scientific demonstration for a reason.”

The boys looked puzzled. 

Megan explained, “you know Mindy. And you hate her. And Mindy hates you in turn.” She told the boys the long story about Mindy’s migration from Belleview to Pacific Coast Academy and back, and the backpack plagiarism. 

The boys were consternated, believing everything lost. 

But Megan appeared to promise some spark of hope. “Mindy always talked about an anoymous student from California Institute for Technology. He provides many high-school kids with advanced scientific equipment, such as tesla spools, laser generators, you know, stuff in those complicated labs. I’m really more a social studies girl than a science freak, so bear with it.” She shuddered. 

Logan gasped. “Anonymous? No good!” 

Megan nodded. “He’s nicked to _Cal_ , because of his association with Caltech.” 

Drake added, “my step-brother Josh has also been interested in science. Maybe he knows a bit about him, as well.” 

Logan beamed. “I don’t know any details, but, yeah, Quinn has mentioned him twice or thrice in such a contect.” 

Having scratched their hair, Chase and Michael nodded. “Yeah, now we can remember.” 

So the next hope was that of finding aforementioned Cal. Maybe Quinn’s blog gave them more informations, but maybe not enough. The kids just had to take a closer look. 

The sun was now completely gone. 

The first scheduled control patrol of the dormitories was due in twenty minutes. 

Chase talked a bit about the dormitory adviser. “His name is Gavin Mitchell, and he’s really fun.” 

Drake and Megan knew him from Première Theater. 

#  Chapter 5  When The Pucketts Come

##  5:1  Restful sleep

This had been the first night with restful sleep for Chase Bartholomew Matthews, for Michael Barret, and for Logan Reese since the accident in 101 Brenner Hall. 

Megan Parker had not only calmed down the babies with her oboe’s charming performance. She had also recorded the sound on a DVD. 

Thus the boys were now able to replay it any time when needed. 

The baby girls were no longer going to ruin the boys’ nights. 

Chase suggested, “and if we put them on permanent replay, we may even leave them in the dorm for the afternoon.” 

Drake sighed. “I’ve got to leave by then. Today, I have got a taping session at Rocque Records.5:1 And then I have to return to San Diego. Megan has got classes tomorrow.” 

Logan sighed. “But Chase’s idea sounds cool, too cool to be his. It is now to be considered mine.” 

Chase and Michael glared aghast. 

Logan had got basketball training in the afternoon. “It’s the first time with the cheerleaders’ new uniforms.” 

Michael nodded. “But, hey! Zoey has designed them. And if anything needs to be corrected, it will be Zoey’s job to do so.” 

Logan scratched his head. “Hey! Your bride and dance partner can do that.” 

Michael gasped. “Oli Biallo? Oh yeah ...” Alas, Michael was still upset by Logan’s allusion to the school dance. 

It would have been the first time for a boy making the cheerio costumes at Pacific Coast Academy. Even prior to the coeducative era, girls from nearby schools had been in charge with this task. 

##  5:2  Melanie

Camille, Tori, and Shelby were gathered in 101 Brenner Hall. 

Tori wore a blond wig from the costume storage, trying to fool Coco Wexler. 

That messy dormitory adviser was much easier to fool than all the pupils and teachers. 

Suddenly, there were voices at the door. A knocking sound was heard. 

“Quinn, are you here?” a voice asked from beyond. 

Tori hid under Quinn’s bed. 

Shelby opened the door. “Aw, hi, Melanie!” 

Melanie Puckett was a freshman. She greeted whom she supposed to be Lola and Quinn. Then she walked in. “OK, Quinn, you know, you’ve agreed on a surgery on my mother.” 

Well, Camille was not really aware of that. She should have read Quinn’s schedule better. She went to the laptop. “Oops! Only three days left ...” 

Melanie nodded. “This eye lasering5:2 is very important for my mom.” 

Camille would have fainted. But, as an actress, she was totally able to control the situation. “Oh, yeah, eye lasering is very important. And I’ve already lasered thousands of eyes.” 

Shelby nodded. “Quinn is the master of eye lasering.” 

Melanie smiled. “OK, good to hear it’s just a simple formality.” 

Camille nodded. “That’s it!” 

Melanie grinned. “But should mom come down here to **Come On Inn** ,5:3 or will you come to Seattle? “ 

Camille gasped. “She better come hereto, this time around.” She did not know exactly about Come On Inn. “I prefer Palmwood’s over Come On Inn, anyways.” 

For Melanie, this was no problem at all. 

She nodded. “OK, see us this Wednesday in the foyer of Palmwood’s.” 

Camille waved at Melanie. 

Little Puckett disappeared. 

Shelby remarked, “now you’ve got a real problem. You don’t happen to be an experienced surgeon, do you?” 

Camille shook her head. “Not at all.” 

Tori, still wigged, appeared from her hideout. “That was close. By the way, my sister Trina wants a new pill for improving her voice. And you know who invents those pills.” 

Camille could imagine that. 

Tori continued, “She’s also looking for some cosmetic surgery. As if she weren’t already too busty for her little talent, she wants a breast enlargenment.” 

Camille gagged. “My only hope is that of getting Dr. Hollywood5:4 to instruct me.” 

Shelby sighed deeply. “I know Melanie’s twin sister Samantha. She’s the co-moderator of web show iCarly. I wanted to make a demo fight against the host, Carly Shay, in person. Of course, Lola would have fought in my place in order to spare Carly’s life.5:5 But this is now impossible. Or maybe ...” 

Tori sighed. “No way! That would be cheating. If it were in order to fool Trina, I’d do it. But not here ...” 

Shelby moaned, “OK, we should concentrate on our job here, anyways.” 

Camille nodded solemnly. “Oh, Tori, I’ve been at your studio’s foyer.” 

Tori shrugged. “And so?” 

Camille continued, “I’ve heard you sing. See, I normally live at Palmwood’s, a hotel for young Hollywood stars, but I’ve seen worse singers there. And you even sing better than the **Jenifers**.”5:6

Tori wondered, “which Jenifers?” 

Camille chuckled. “Those are three girls hanging out together all the time at Palmwood’s. But you’re much better.” 

Tori had got a hard time believing this. 

Camille suggested, “you should audition at one of the big record studioes of Los Angeles, such as Rocque Records.” 

Tori was flabbergasted. “What?” 

Camille picked up her cellular phone and started typing a long number. “Hi Kelly, this is Camille.” 

**Kelly Waynright**5:7 was the secretary of **Gustavo Rocque** ,5:8 the boss of Rocque Records. She greeted Camille back. 

Quinn’s cousin panted. “OK, I’ve just seen a great talent.” 

Tori shook her head tremendously. 

But Camille did not stop. “Her name is Tori. When may she audition?” 

Kelly had to look through her schedule. “Oops, In two hours. There’s a little break between Drake Parker’s tapping and that of Dak Zevon.”5:9

Camilled nodded. “That’s not a problem for us. See you, Kelly!” 

The call was over. 

Tori was totally excited. “Those are world stars. But I ...” 

Camille shook her head. “They are just ordinary guys. Oh, as Drake is on the campus today, he may take you right there.” 

Tori’s head was close to exploding. Was she really able to survive in the presence of such an exorbitant superstar? She was probably going to feel oh-so-small and waste any chance of making a good performance. 

##  5:3  Off To Rocque Records

Tori felt a bit unworthy when entering the vehicle of the greatest teenage rock idol ever. 

Megan went into the back of the car. “Don’t worry, Victoria, he’s just a boob.” 

Tori scratched her chin. “A boob?” 

Megan chuckled. “That’s an excessively long story.” 

Tori was still totally excited. 

Drake started riding the car. “It isn’t that bad, Ms. Vega.” 

Tori insisted in being called “Tori”. 

Drake shrugged. “OK, Tori. Gustavo Rocque shouts a lot. But don’t get distracted by that. He just likes to hear himself.” 

Megan snickered. “Aw boob! You should hear yourself.” 

Drake and Tori shrugged. 

##  5:4  New Babysitters

Chase Matthews was rigged and ready to go to basketball training. He wanted to make it back to the team. 

Logan was already off. 

Michael had still got some remorses due to being up to leaving the baby girls all alone for three hours. 

Chase tried calming him down. 

Suddenly, there were voices at the door. 

Michael asked for the password. 

A voice replied, “The weasel sleeps at midnight!” 

Chase opened the door. 

Wendy and Addie walked in. 

Chase and Michael were a bit shocked. 

Wendy explained, “we are friends of Megan Parker. She has told us to help you babysitting.” 

Chase and Michael sighed for relief. 

Addie saw Chase’s guitar. “you play it?” 

Chase nodded. “I like writing poems and play a bit to it. Michael composes the tunes.” 

Addie shared Chase’s hobbie. “That’s cool!” 

Chase and Michael thanked the girls for offering their help. Then they walked out. 

Wendy sighed. “So, Michael is a composer? Wow! I’ve never met one.” 

Addie and Wendy chuckled while caring for the little bundles. 

##  5:5  Dr. Hollywood

Camille was desperate when trying to explain her story unto Dr. Hollywood. 

The fanciful medic gasped. “Eye lasering?” 

Camille nodded solemnly. 

Dr. Hollywood panted heavily. “That’s very serious. I don’t think to be able to instruct you within two days.” 

Camille sighed. “Could you perform the surgery? I mean, Mrs. Puckett will be anesthesised for the duration of the surgery, won’t she? And then she won’t notice it anyways.” 

“Only local anesthesis,” replied panting Dr. Hollywood. “And, honestly, I haven’t yet got much experience in that field of surgery.” 

Camille fainted. Her life was apparently running away from her. Why had she dared to mess with Quinn’s identity? This was so going to end in a catastrophe. 

Dr. Hollywood moaned, “sorry, now I’ve got to unpack my new nuclear-powered power bone chainsaw.” 

Camille shivered. 

Dr. Hollywood grabbed a cardboard box and cut the ties loose. 

Camille was totally consternated. Then she happened to look atthe lable attached to the box. 

The latter read “sent by Cal”. 

Camille stammered, “Cal has invented that apparatus?” 

Dr. Hollywood grinned. “He’s one of the greatest inventors of this century.” 

Camille gasped. “OK, we desperately need to contact him. My sister has screwed up one of her inventions. And Cal might be the ultimate person able to fix it.” 

Dr.!Hollywood shrugged. “That should not be a problem. Cal comes hereto almost once every other week in order to give a demo of his latest research useful for my job here. Tomorrow, he wants to demonstrate his new radioactive blood converter. That will be one revolution of medicine.” 

There was now one spark of hope left within Camille’s wretched mind. 

Cal had to be able to either revert Quinn in time or invent something to help them laser Mrs. Puckett’s eyes with much less of a risk. 

##  5:6  Lola Versus Shelby

Ashley Blake met her elder brother Vince for dinner in **Sushi Rox** ,5:10 a Japanes pub on the campus. 

Vince had to tell his favourite little sister a lot. “The cheerleaders wear new uniforms, designed by Zoey Brooks. And they were a bit too small, thus need to be reworked. And the cheerioes are so hot. My brain was overpowered. Fortunately, Lola couldn’t see that. She would have turned excessively jealous, especially of **Mandy Franklin**.5:11 She’s now officially dating Logan Reese, but who cares ...” 

Ashley choked. “Maybe, but, talking about Lola ...” 

Vince looked puzzled. 

Ashley continued, “she’s a fake.” 

The quarterback’s eyes bugged out. 

His jaw dropped, causing an earthquake of magnitude 5. 

Ashley told him about her recent observances. “Lola has got several alike-looking sisters and cousins. One of them is martial champion Shelby Marx.” 

Suddenly, “Lola"’s sudden increase in athletic strength made so much sense to him. He stammered helplessly, “then I must have made out with ... Shelby.” He fainted completely. 

Ashley grinned with mischief. “And ... did you like it?” 

Vince glared aghast. But he could not deny it. 

Ashley asked, “so, what are you going to do with Lola and Shelby?” 

Vince shrugged. Could he really simply go back to Lola, letting his affair with Shelby be just a misunderstanding? Or was he going to admit to being so much more fascinated by athletic Shelby? 

#  Chapter 6  Calculation

##  6:1  The Saviour Comes

Sun came up from the braes of the coastal southern Californian hill chains, hitting still peaceful campus of Pacific Coast Academy. 

After another night of more restful sleep, Chase and Michael woke up very early. 

There were now voices at the door. 

Logan was still half asleep. “Hey! It’s only Monday!” He yawned. 

Michael checked the password and opened the door for Camille. 

Quinn’s acting cousin stumbled in and removed her boy’s wig, needed in order to get past the door guard before the end of night curfew. “Hey, guys! I’ve found the solution.” 

Logan yawned, “have we got a problem?” 

Chase glared aghast at Logan. 

A hitherto unknown man entered. “Hey! I’m Cal from Caltech.” 

Michael grinned. “Oh, Cal!” 

Logan was finally awake. “Has he found the formula?” 

Unfortunately, Cal needed to inspect the place of the accident, and find Quinn’s handwritten or taped logs not yet found on her blog. “But I’m pretty close. That’s because Quinn has got some of the ingredients from me.” 

The guys from 148 Maxwell Hall sighed deeply for relief. 

There was finally light at the end of the tunnel. 

##  6:2  Little Porcupine

In the foyer of Brenner Hall, Stacey Dillsen stumbled across Shelby and Camille. She carried a strange cotton swab construct in her arms. “Attention! This is an important sculpture!” 

Camille giggled. “What’s that?” 

Stacey explained. “Yesterday, a young porcupine crossed my way. It looked so lost. So I’m now keeping it as my pet. Just don’t tell Coco.” 

Camille shook her head. “Coco can’t tell a porcupine from a cactus, anyways.” 

Said porcupine, of course, was no other but Mr. Tibbles. It had been exposed to the mist causing the shrinking of the girls from 101Brenner Hall. It was thus the first male being to get transformed. 

Camille and Shelby concluded silently, “Logan Reese, Michael Barret, and Chase Matthews are due for a change any time.” 

The tide was already high. Cal better hurried up. 

Stacey continued, “so I have made a cotton swab porcupine. Thus my pet won’t feel too lonely during my absence.” 

“It will certainly appreciate that,” replied Camille in a hypocritical manner. 

Stacey grinned. “Oh, have you already heard about Jeremiah Trottman?” 

Camille shrugged. “Don’t hope so. He’s such a creepy dweeb.” She shuddered for excruciating disgust. 

Stacey explained, “he has taken back everything said in his last news and regrets listening to poorly informed sources. Maybe he will start eating and drinking again by the end of the week. Now he’s going to date a really great journalist, Jessica Warner from Backstage Hollywood, and learn appropriate moderation of public news.” 

Shelby and Camille grinned sadistically. 

Stacey beamed. “This also means: Drake Parker is not engaged with Paige Howard. Yeah!” 

“How cool,” remarked Shelby in a sadistical manner. “Who would have imagined that?” 

Stacey smiled. “So, maybe, one day, I will be Mrs. Stacey Parker. Have you seen Drake’s fingers? Aw, his fingers!” She swooned insanely. 

“Dream on!” remarked Camille at low voice. 

Shelby shook her head. 

“Excuse me, was nice to meet you, but now I need to show my latest work of art to my only friend, the porcupine!” Stacey walked away. 

Camille and Shelby were happy about this. But they were more and more worried about the possibility of Chase, Logan, and Michael turning into babies before Cal’s discovery of the key to Quinn’s invention. 

Lisa Perkins walked in. She was still not aware of the baby stuff. “Hi Quinn! Hi Lola!” 

Camille replied, “hi Lisa!” 

The brown girl in the lounge wondered, “have you noticed Michael acting strangely as of recent? He hardly leaves his hole anymore before nightfall.” 

Shelby shook her head. “Michael is just as usual.” 

Lisa shrugged. “Maybe he has got hallucinations, just as back then, imagining one Mr. Takato.” 

Camille shrugged. “Maybe?” 

Lisa remarked, “anyways, tell him ... I’ve found some new boyfriend, **Harper Harris**.6:1 He sings much better than Michael and does not puke into the audience.” 

Shelby grinned. “How good for Harper.” 

Lisa wondered silently, “Lola and Quinn are a bit strange today. But who cares, anyways?” 

Shelby’s cellular phone rang. 

The mixed martial princess picked it up. “Shelby Marx ... oh, hi Tori ...” 

Victoria Vega boomed, “you won’t believe whathappened at Rocque Records.” 

“Tell me!” replied Shelby. 

Shelby reported, “Trina has tried out a few hours before me. And Gustavo Rocque had shouted her into oblivion.” 

“Trina has got no talent,” remarked Shelby. 

Tori continued, “I know, but that’s not a reason for being rude and disgusting. So I sang a really stupid song to Trina’s defense. And that rocked. Now Gustavo Rock wants me as a female lead voice for Drake Parker’s new band.” 

Shelby gasped. “wow!” 

Tori concluded, “Drake will come back on Wednesday in order to fix the whole thing. I’m so totally excited.” 

##  6:3  Dustin In Doubt

Dustin and Robbie were in their dormitory room, waiting for nightfall. 

The situation had not been easy for Zoey’s little brother. 

Dustin was hoping for Cal to find the way to restore Zoey as soon as can be, especially before mom and dad finding out. He had not yet lied to them on the phone. 

But this may have been necessary in order to prevent them from dropping their jobs in London and jumping into the next plane to Los Angeles. 

Dustin sad strangely at his laptop. 

Robbie wondered, “hey! why don’t you come with me to my treehouse? We may spit pebbles at bypassing teachers.” 

Dustin had opened “meganparker dot com”, the web sitte of aforementioned Megan. 

Robbie noticed him. “Dustin, what do you think about Megan?” 

Dustin blushed deeply. 

Robin sighed deeply. “Megan is destructive and annoying.” 

Dustin replied, “she’s cool!” But he knew about Megan’s naughty pranks against Drake and Josh. Those fascinated him. Dustin adored Megan’s demeanour. Yet he was a bit too shy to send Megan a mail, fessing up with his feelings. 

Alas, how was Zoey going to react upon noticing Dustin’s new crush? She was known for being obnoxiously superprotective. A few years ago, she had sabotaged Dustin’s date with Sam Puckett, or, as known back then, Trisha Kirby. 

##  6:4  The formula

>   
>  When shall we six meet again  
>  In lightening storm, wind, and rain?  
>  When the hurly-burly’s done  
>  When the battle’s lost or won  
>  That be past the set of sun
> 
> — modifiying Shakespeare, _MacBeth_. 

The sun had died beyond the waves of the mighty Pacific. 

The whole afternoon, “Cal” had been busy making sense of Quinn Pensky’s log entries. This was not as hard as feared. Cal appreciated Quinn’s interestingly quirky logging style. He smiled. 

Also, the boys of 148 Maxwell were totally excited. The whole afternoon, they had annoyed each other. Upon dusk, they finally dared to make it to a secret meeting point previously agreed upon with the freak from Caltech. 

Dustin and Olivary Biallo followed them. The latter brought the babies in a carriage. 

Cal reported. “OK, guys, I’ve found the countermedic.” 

The boys were prone to cheering too loud. 

Cal had to calm them down. “It won’t work immediately. Take or give two or three ...” 

Michael boomed, “two or three what? Hours? Days?” 

Cal continued, “sure. Maybe it works over night. Maybe only by the end of the week.” He wiped some sweat off his cheeks. 

The guys were slightly disappointed. 

Cal gave them some potrion. “This should be enough. Mix it into their food!” 

The boys sighed for relief. 

It appeared to work very easily. Alas, it better worked during the next 24 hours. 

The eylasering of Mrs. Puckett was scheduled for Wednesday. And Quinn was desperately needed back for that. 

Chase, Michael, and Logan grabbed Olivary and the carriages. Then they walked back to the dorms, cheering aloud. Thus they missed out on an important warning. 

Cal panted. “The big boys are due for transformation over night! And they should take the antidote in time.” 

Dustin gasped. But he did not dare telling them. He was too much spellbound by his feelings for Megan and would have screwed it up completely. 

##  6:5  Transformations

The night over Malibu was coming to an end. 

Quinn woke up on a silken beanbag in 148 Maxwell Hall. She was now a teenager again. 

Zoey and Lola were also back to teenage life. 

Alas, they were wearing their baby stuff. And that was much too small. The girls were consternated and ashamed to death. What were they doing half-naked in the boys’ dorm, viz. 148 Maxwell Hall, at this time of the day? 

Alas, the boys were not there. 

Zoey, Quinn, and Lola hastily wrapped themselves into the boys’ blankets. 

Lola screamed upon seeing baby Michael. She did not recognise him as such. 

Quinn and Zoey discovered Logan and Chase, respectively. 

Well, these boys were not exactly teenagers anymore, either, and thus a bit beyond recognition. 

The girls tried to take care of the stinking lumps. 

Fortunately, Megan’s music was still subtly filling the air and kept the babies as calm as possible. 

Quinn fed baby meals to the male infants. 

Having noticed a few similarities, Zoey concluded, “those must be babies of Chase, Michael, and Logan.” 

Suddenly, Gavin knocked at the door. 

Quinn hid the babies under a blanket. 

Zoey and Lola hid under the beds. 

Quinn opened the door. 

Gavin walked in. “What’s going on here?” 

Quinn grabbed Gavin’s arm from behind and seized his elbow, making the victim drop unconscious on site.6:2

Lola and Zoey sighed for relief. 

Quinn had finally come to a conclusion. “These babies are not those of Chase, Logan, and Michael, they are Chase, Logan, and Michael.” 

Zoey and Lola gasped. 

Quinn cheered. “Now help me to drag the dorm adviser into the next closet.” 

Zoey and Lola followed the commands. 

Lola used some dark marker to paint herself, Quinn, and Zoey some fake beards and moustaches, just in case. 

Most boys living in this hall were still asleep or in their dorms. 

##  6:6  Breakfast

The girls from 101 Brenner Hall had made it into the cafeteria as soon as possible. They used the boys’ outfits. Their own girls’ stuff was still in their dorms. And they did not have the appropriate keys on them. 

Quinn reasoned, “we must have been babies, too. Look at the scraps worn by us when waking up!” 

Lola scratched her long, dark hair. 

Zoey panted. “Probably! It was all your stupid experiment’s fault. Oh, our baby outfit was cool. Who has taylored it for us? It’s totally coool and fashionable. I couldn’t have made it much better. And I’ve already designed and taylored quite a few outfits.” 

Lola shrugged. 

Quinn whimpered for shame. “But what is Mr. Tibbles doing?” 

Lola shivered. She was excessively allergic to quills. 

Nobody had yet recognised the girls with boys’ clothes and fake beards. 

This way, they would even have been rejected at the cafeteria’s counter. 

But finally Camille showed up. She recognised her cousin without a trace of a problem. Alas, she had to talk in whispers. “Quinn!” 

Lola and Zoey gasped. They had not yet met Quinn’s alike-looking cousin. 

Quinn wondered, “Camille? You’re exactly doing what at Pacific Coast Academy?” 

Camille panted and started talking about the last days, including Cal’s arrival. “Don’t worry about the boys, Cal may fix them as well.” 

Quinn moaned, “So we’ve been babies for almost a week?” 

Camille nodded. “Zoey, you should look for your brother. He’s really worried.” 

Zoey nodded. “Will do!” 

Camille gave them the keys of their dormitory room, and she promised to purchase some breakast for them. 

The recovered teenage girls thanked Camille. 

Quinn remarked, “strangely, as a baby, I’ve liked baby meals less than now as a teenager.” 

Lola and Zoey chuckled. 

Alas, Camille had got some bad news for Lola. “I’ve been acting as Quinn. Shelby and Tori acted as you. Vince fell for the trick. And now he seems totally into your little sister. With some bad luck, Tori will grab your acting job as well. She’s also going to be a pop star.” 

Lola gasped. “Hells bells! That’s not fair! I hate them.” 

Zoey calmed Lola down. 

Quinn wasn’t sure. “Who knows what Camille has done in my name?” 

But now they had to go to 101 Brenner Hall and get rigged ready for their return to their daily life. 

#  Chapter 7  Finale

##  7:1  Sister War

At lunch break, Lola met her little sister Shelby in the lounge. 

Bypassing Stacey was a bit confused by what she perceived as two Lolas. 

Lola was very upset at Shelby. “How could you abuse the occasion in order to steal my fiancé?” 

The martial princess grunted, “it’s all your fault. Vince is a passionate athlete. You complain about his sweat. You refuse to jog with him. You still don’t know the difference between a touchdown and a field goal.” 

Lola shrugged carelessly. 

Shelby continued, “just looking good doesn’t do the trick. Maybe he’s too old for me, right now. But, with or without me, you’d have lost him within a few years.” 

Lola looked consternated. 

Along came Ashley Blake. “Hi!” She had learned to tell Lola and her fakes apart. 

Lola accused Ashley of having encouraged Vince to cheat on her. 

Ashley admitted: 

> See! 
> 
> Vince made it back to Pacific Coast Academy after his expulsion because of “acting nice". 
> 
> But I had taught him to feign being nice. 
> 
> That was when nobody else believed in him anymore. 
> 
> Then he came back to Pacific Coast Academy in order to get back at Chase. 
> 
> The bushy dweeb was gone. 
> 
> So I decided to let Vince take revenge by dating one of Chase’s best female friends. 
> 
> Zoey was our first choice. But she had got James. 
> 
> You were the easiest available alternative. 
> 
> Vince just had to choose you, and and it worked out nicely. 
> 
> Chase has turned more and more nervous after his return. 

Shelby shrugged. “See, Lola? You’ve just been an accident.” 

Lola was never going to talk again to Shelby, at least not in a long time. 

But it was for her own good. 

And Ashley knew that from the beginning. 

Alas, Lola was now hell bent to secure her fame as a Hollywood actress and make mankind forget about Ashley Blake. She did not have to take any longer care of any family bonds whatsoever. 

##  7:2  Zoey Tames A Former Bully

Cal had been able to give the baby boys their needed potion of antidote. 

Thereupon, they were restored to big boys after one more night. 

Michael had been telling the girls about Olivary Biallo. “He also likes sewing and creating fashion.” 

Zoey thought this interesting. Thence she had begged Michael to arrange a little meeting with Olivary. 

They were now sitting together in the foyer of Brenner Hall. 

Olivary admitted, “Olivary Biallo is not my real name ... and I don’t have to talk like this. I’m not an exotic exchange student.” 

Zoey gasped. 

“My name is Jerome Crony,” admitted the textile freak. “I’ve been a student at James K. Polk until recently. I did not want to be known as a guy with girls’ hobbies, thus I joined a bully gang.” 

Zoey was consternated. She panted heavily. “Jerry, you need to become more secure about your hobby, male or female doesn’t matter. Then you won’t need to hide behind a bully’s mask any longer.” 

Jerry Crony sighed. 

Zoey continued, “you have improved the cheerio outfit. That’s cool. Now fess up to it in the public. Come on, I will stand behind you!” 

Crony panted even more. But he followed slowly Zoey’s suggestions. 

##  7:3  Eye lasering

Ignoring a label attached to 101 Palmwood’s saying “No surgery in this room!”, Quinn dragged her instruments into that suite. 

Dr. Hollywood was already in there. 

Officially, Quinn was registered as a deputy of that medic. But she was much more competent than the med school graduate and was going to guide the surgical intervention. 

Melanie and her mother arrived only a few minutes later. 

Dr. Hollywood prepared the instruments. 

Melanie thanked Quinn again for her endeavour. “It’s already mom’s tenth surgery this year.” 

Quinn nodded. “Let the fun begin!” 

Dr. Hollywood showed Quinn an instrument of some sorts. “This is a photon blade scalpel. Cal sold it to me for only 500 bucks.” 

Quinn grinned. “That’s cool. He has been the only one to make sense of my scientific blog entries.” 

The lasers were flying. 

Mrs. Puckett was the meanest lass of downtown Seattle. She never would cry and rejected even local anesthetics. After the surgery, she was going to ride her car herself immediately back to Seattle. 

Suddenly, manager Bitters7:1 showed up. “What have I told you about surgeries in the suites of Palmwood’s?” 

Quinn shrugged. “Oh, you look a bit tortured around your kidneys.” 

Bitters coughed and whispered, “indeed there could be some kidney stone ...” 

Quinn grinned. “Oh, renal calculi.” She stressed the term _Cal_ in _calculi_. “Not a problem! I wanted to test Cal’s photon-blade powered scalpel anyways.” 

Dr. Hollywood tied the manager to a chair. 

Swooning Quinn thought about Cal all time long during the surgical intervention. 

Half an hour later, Mr. Bitters felt a bit more light weight — not that it mattered that much for the obese manager. 

Quinn offered, “have you already thought about intestinal surgery?” 

Mr. Bitters shivered a bit. “OK, maybe I can return to the skateboard.” 

Dr, Hollywood weondered, “the skateboard?” 

Mr. Bitters admitted to having been a great skateboard star, known as “The Turk", during the eighties. 

Quinn even remembered that name. “My friend Dana Cruz7:2 has envied you.” 

Mr. Bitters grinned. 

They had no problems agreeing on a fast surgery. 

##  7:4  Rock Stars

Drake arrived again at the lounge of Brenner Hall, happy about the renormalisation of the girls. 

Fourteen years old Tori was happy about making it into his band. 

Drake was not going to date any girls any more until Tori’s eighteenth birthday. Then he was going to ask out Tori the straight way. 

Stacey Dillsen, on the other hand, was rejected by Drake. She was terribly sad about it. 

Eric Blonowitz,7:3 an exorbitantly dorky friend of Drake, wondered, “hi Stacey, do you want to watch iCarly with me? I’ve already bought popcorn and soda. I wanted to invite Tori, but she’s not interested, wonder why.” 

Stacey smiled. “That’s my favourite web show. Are you for _Creddie_ or for _Seddie_?”7:4

“Creddie,” replied Eric. 

Stacey boomed, “Creddie! Creddie! Creddie!” 

Eric suggested, “and afterwards we may go to the astronomical observatory.”7:5

Stacey smiled. “I love stargazing. My favourite star is Saturn ... because of the rings, you understand? They are so cool. But I’ve got my own telescope,7:6 so we go just anywhere outside.” 

Eric smiled. “Much better! How about your botanic garden?” 

And if they haven’t died yet, they are still watching the stars side by side, holding hands and sharing a telescope. 

##  7:5  Lola Martinez Superstar

Lola appeared at the filming site. 

Malcolm was already a bit impatient. “OK, now let’s come to the kissing scene. Beck, Lola, are you ready?” 

Beck Oliver entered the scene. “Hi Lola!” 

Lola deemed Beck excessively hot. “Hi! I guess we better just get done with that scene.” She grinned. 

Beck sighed. “Wow! You’ve improved a lot since the last shooting. I mean, you haven’t been bad, but today, you sound totally experienced and professional.” 

Of course, the explanation was easy for anyone able to tell Lola from Tori. 

Lola grabbed Beck and kissed him fondly. 

Beck enjoyed the moment deeply. 

Suddenly, Beck’s — falsely so-called — girlfriend Jade jumped from the bushes, slapped Beck and Lola across the face, and bellowed, “it’s over, Beck! I have only been able to bear with you because of your caravan. I’ve never liked you. But now I can forget about the stinky vehicle.” She stomped her feet and walked away. 

Lola deemed Beck the greatest kisser ever. But she asked, “who’s that gir” 

Beck replied, “now she’s my ex-girlfriend. Her lips are like scissors. She collects those things. Her words cut deeper wounds than any knife.” 

Lola smiled. 

Malcolm grinned proudly. “OK, best kissing scene ever in the history of Hollywood! This smells like an Oscar.” 

Lola and Beck grinned and glared dreamily deep, one at another. 

Jade wasn’t going to be too sad. She was simply going to find one of the few boys interested in listening to her talk about “Scissorgirl”: Action toon freak Wayne “Firewire “ Gilbert, expert for impending doom and superheroes. 

Lola and Beck having been confirmed in the main rôles, Ashley Blake and Jett Stenson were left with the tasks as sidekicks. But they weren’t exactly unhappy about that and tried successfully to imitate Beck’s and Lola’s favourite scene off-screen. 

Spencer Danforth was finally left with lurking Camille. But that was not a problem for the charming afro-american girls’ man. 

##  7:6  Dustin dates Megan

Dustin told Zoey at her next sibling evening, “I’ve found a super cool girl, but you may hate her.” 

Zoey gasped. “Whom?” 

Dustin talked about Megan. “But her last boyfriend, Corey7:7 has been such a creep. Now she doesn’t believe any more in premarital kisses.” 

Zoey sighed. “Megan Parker? Yeah, I’ve heard about her. Naughty girl. But she’s very serious when it comes ro boys.” 

Dustin nodded. “I want to be very serious, too. I’ve been broken by Trisha. And I’ve learnt from Logan’s mistakes.7:8 Girls need to be treated with more respect than Logan’s.” 

Zoey nodeed solemnly. “OK, so, you definitely should date Megan. Maybe her brothers have deserved being maltreated.” 

Dustin beamed. 

Zoey announced, “but now I’m going to date Crony. We’re designing our prom outfits.” 

Dustin grinned sweetly. 

Zoey was going to talk Drake and Mrs. Parker into sending Megan to Pacific Coast Academy for the next years. 

##  7:7  Improvements

Finally, Quinn met Cal. She blushed in his presence. 

Cal explained, “your work has been great. There are just a few minor mistakes. First, we should leave out the porcupine’s excrements and use skunk’s excrements instead.” 

Quinn sighed. “I always mess it up.” 

Cal shook his head. “You don’t, you’ve been so close! Let’s work on it together, and the invention will be perfect in no time.” 

Quinn looked up to him. “You really want me as your partner?” 

Quinn’s heart beat faster. 

Cal pulled Quinn into a tight hug. “Always and ever!” 

##  7:8  Conclusion

Chase and Addie were going to work as playwrights at Broadway in New York City, under the auspices of star playwright Sofia Michelle.7:9

Michael and Wendy were going to assist Gustavo Rocque as music producers and take over his empire within the next decade, poroducing all songs of the great duet Drake Parker and Victoria Vega. 

Logan and Mandy Franklin were goinng to work as supermodels for **Mad Style**7:10 in New York City. Logan should have been happy about his experience with taking care of the baby girls. One year later, he was going to be forced to take care of his own and Mandy’s offspring. 

And if _Scissor Girl_ and _Firewire_ haven’t yet cut and burnt them into smithereens and cinder, they are still breathing. 

_**The End**_

* * *

1:1
     regular of _Zoey 101_ , season 4 
1:2
    from _Zoey 101_ : _Spring breakup_ and _Logan Gets Cut Off_
1:3
     from _Zoey 101_ : _Son Of A Dean_
1:4
     regular of _Zoey 101_
1:5
     cf. _Zoey 101_ : _Quarantine_
1:6
     from _Zoey 101_ : _Quinn_ _’_ _s Alpaca_
1:7
     cf. _The iCarly Show_ : _iFight Shelby Marx_
1:8
     cf. _Zoey 101_ : _Zoey_ _’_ _s Balloon_! 
1:9
     several appearances throughout _Zoey 101_
1:10
     regular of _Zoey 101_
1:11
     cf. _Zoey 101_ : _Michael Loves Lisa_
1:12
     cf. _Zoey 101_ : _Chasing Zoey_
1:13
     from _The iCarly Show_ : _iTwins_
1:14
     from _Zoey 101_ : _Bad Girl_ , identified with **Samantha Puckett** from _The iCarly Show_
1:15
     mentioned in _The iCarly Show_ : _iSaved Your Life_
1:16
     a regular of _Zoey 101_
2:1
     cf. _Zoey 101_ : _Hot Dean_ et alibi 
2:2
     cf. _Zoey 101_ : _Logan Gets Cut Off_
2:3
     several appearances in _Drake & Josh_
2:4
    significant appearances in _Zoey 101_ : _The Great Vince Blake_ et alibi 
2:5
     regular of _Zoey 101_
2:6
     recurring setting of _Drake & Josh_
2:7
    a regular of _Big Time Rush_
2:8
     major setting of _Big Time Rush_
2:9
     from _The iCarly Show_ : _iFight Shelby Marx_
2:10
     from _True Jackson VP_ : _True Crush_
2:11
     from _Victorious_
2:12
     from _Zoey 101_ : _People Auction_ and _Zoey 101_ : _Chase’s Girlfriend_
2:13
     cf. _Zoey 101_ : _Chasing Zoey_
2:14
     from _Zoey 101_ : _School Dance_ , identified with recurring Jerry Crony from _Ned_ _’_ _s Declassified School Survival Guide_
2:15
     cameo in _Zoey 101_ : _Chase’s Birthday_
2:16
     cameo in _Zoey 101_ : _The Great Vince Blake_
2:17
     from _Zoey 101_ : _Wrestling_
2:18
     from _Zoey 101_ : _People Auction_
2:19
     school from _Drake & Josh_: _Football_
3:1
     from _Drake & Josh_
3:2
    several cameos in _The iCarly Show_ , such as _iFix A Pop Star_ , and identified with an unportrayed Jessica from _Drake & Josh_: _Drake And Josh Go Hollywood_
3:3
     from _Drake & Josh_
3:4
    from _Drake & Josh_
3:5
    cf. _Drake & Josh_: _Honor Council_
3:6
     cf. _Zoey 101_ : _Spring Fling_ , identifying Drake with the actor’s self-insert 
3:7
    cf. _Zoey 101_ : _Backpack_! 
3:8
     cf. _Drake & Josh_: _Smart Girl_! 
3:9
     from _Drake & Josh_: _Little Diva_
3:10
     from _Unfabulous_ , identified with the same actress’s cameo in _Drake & Josh_: _Honor Council_
3:11
     from _Drake & Josh_: _Number One Fan_ , with a surname from the same acxtress’s part in third-party ownwd _Camp Rock_
3:12
     from _Zoey 101_ : _Robot Wars_ t alibi 
3:13
     from _Victorious_ , identified with Rebecca from _Zoey 101_ : _Surprise_ et alibi 
3:14
     from _Victorious_
3:15
     from _Victorious_
3:16
     several appearances in _Big Time Rush_
3:17
     from _Ned_ _’_ _s Declassified School Survival Guide_ : _School Plays_! 
4:1
     from _The iCarly Show_
4:2
     cameo from _Drake & Josh_: _Treehouse_ and _Zoey 101_ : _Favor Chain_
5:1
     brand from _Big Time Rush_
5:2
     cf. _The iCarly Show_ : _iMust Have Locker 239_ for Sam’s mom’s eye lasering, and _Zoey 101_ : _Trading Places_ for Quinn’s experiences in this discipline 
5:3
     cf. _The iCarly Show_ : _iTake On Dingo_
5:4
     several appearances in _Big Time Rush_
5:5
     cf. _The iCarly Show_ : _iFight Shelby Marx_
5:6
     regulars from _Big Time Rush_
5:7
     regular of _Big Time Rush_
5:8
     regular of _Big Time Rush_
5:9
     from _Big Time Rush_ : _Big Time Studio_
5:10
     occasional setting of _Zoey 101_
5:11
     mentioned in _Zoey 101_ : _Chasing Zoey_ , and identified with cameo Mandy from _Drake & Josh_: _Football_
6:1
     from _The iCarly Show_ : _iCarly Saves TV_
6:2
     cf. _Zoey 101_ : _The Great Vince Blake_ et alibi 
7:1
    a regular of _Big Time Rush_ , identified with Dave from _True Jackson VP_ : _Ryan On Rolls_
7:2
     from _Zoey 101_ , Season 1 
7:3
    recurring in _Drake & Josh_ since season 2, and also in _The iCarly Show_ :citetitleiStart A Fanwar 
7:4
    cf. _The iCarly Show_ : _iStart A Fanwar_! 
7:5
     cf. _Drake & Josh_: _The Wedding_
7:6
     cf. _Zoey 101_ : _Fake Roommate_
7:7
     from _Drake & Josh_: _Megan_ _’_ _s First Kiss_
7:8
     cf. _Zoey 101_ : _Lola Likes Chase_
7:9
     from _Victorious_ : _Tori The Zombie_
7:10
     organisation featured in _True Jackson VP_

* * *


End file.
